It's back!

Remember that time I posted to this blog about dwarf tossing?! (I'm too lazy at this point in time to go back and reference it. I don't want to lose focus)

It turns out it could be useful after all. Bill Simmons, aka ESPN.com's Sports Guy, just mentioned this in his NFL week 14 picks:

Speaking of short yardage, you know Philly is struggling when reader Dan from Fairfax, Va., sends me a long e-mail explaining why Andy Reid should sign a "little person," then have McNabb line up in shotgun formation while holding the "little person," take a shotgun snap, hand the ball to the "little person," then fling him over the offensive and defensive lines into the end zone. And Dan was serious. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Philadelphia Eagles!

I felt bad about not finding the post in question. You may need to scroll down to August 2nd.

Saturday Special

Just when you think it's all over, it comes back with a vengeance. There will be a special No Complaints lunch this Saturday at the Midway Hotel in Dubuque, IA. Those who find themselves in Dubuque and looking for some peculiar lunchtime conversation, look no further. Technically, this is a family Christmas event, but Phil and I will certainly vouch for anyone from the old lunchtime crowd who wants to enjoy some fried chicken and a dinner roll. Bringing your own drinks is recommended.

A Bite of the Conchords

Happy belated birthday to, well, all of us

To all our readers (especially Phil), you need to check out this video. It's not long (67sec), and it's not what you're expecting:

Cleese on Palin (Sarah, not Michael)

Here are some thoughts from Monty Python member John Cleese regarding Sarah Palin:

Heart too hard to win

I stumbled upon this striking image whilst perusing the internet, and it reminded me of the bygone, carefree days of No Complaints: Turning lunchtimes into friendships, turning friendships into sandwiches, turning sandwiches into deuces.

Pure Genius!

Check this Bud Light ad that was banned from the Super Bowl!

http://docksquad.blogspot.com/2008/02/banned-commercial.html

Maxi Lunchin' & Maxi Postin'

Hey Michael,

I'm back! After a much spotty lunch attendance on my part I'm ready for Maxin' and Relaxin' at Mo' Complaints' Lunch. (Insert additional apostrophe here). Brummski, if you're down for gettin' some grub with a dirty old man like me today, I've got a few interesting questions to throw your way. You know, about life n' shit.

Double-U Tee Eff????

What the fuck? Women... and Mo Complaints? I don't understand... I hope that for Tradition's sake, Andrea is the name of a mysterious man, otherwise I'm not sure the world will ever right itself in my eyes!

Being in love and shit

Yo Mike, I'm in love with a cheese sandwich that I will purchase for lunch today at Noon at the Melrose Dining Room. I suggest that you and I leave a few minutes early (like 10 'till) so we can make it right at Noon. Andrea has only a half an hour, so let's make the most of it, eh?

This Week's Lunch Plans

Michael,

I'm planning on being at lunch at EMRB at Noon today and tomorrow. We talked about meeting up with Andrea at Melrose on Wednesday, but that got moved from Wednesday to Thursday. Does that fit into your schedule? Let me know what you think man, and I'll see you shortly!

- Bill

Rebirth of More Complaints

Yeah, you saw that right. Just like the rapper Fifty Cents, I white-ly call this blog "More Complaints." Too bad for everybody in the Happy Hour group, nay the entire Blogosphere, that they cannot (or choose not to) join Michael and me, Sir William of Adams, at EMRB for the second edition of the lunchening this week.

Stay humble stay low blow like Hootie

Mo' Complaints has many influences, but this has got to be top of the list:

Game, set, match. Point. Obama.

What'cha gonna do, Hillary?

The Blogosphere cries

See, the thing about Mo' Complaints lunch is that everybody all throughout the Blogosphere wants in on it. Bohle only moved to greener pastures because he recognized that the longer he stayed with Mo' Complaints, the harder it would be to tear himself from the wonder, the glory, the sheer orgazmiration. So I extend my daily members only invitation to Brummski for a Noon meeting of the lunch at the exclusive EMRB Club. You down for that Michael?

That sweet sound...

I can type sort of like this... but only the spacebar.

By the way, I wasn't feeling well... but then I found the cure to the fever: An LL Cool J video that I hadn't seen yet.

But this is what that dude sounded like when he walked!

I can't quit you, Bohle

Not since Nov 2004 have I entered such a stupor. Then, faced with 4 more years with Mr Bush, I coped by not eating, drinking, or engaging in any semblance of political discussion or thought for a good 6 months. Now, faced with ?(!) years without Mr Bohle, I have once again struck the (emotional) fetal pose, only this time I’ve responded not with lack of appetite, nay, but by eating (bon bons) and drinking (gorilla farts) more than ever before in my life. Moreover, this time around, it is watching Twins, listening to my Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. (i.e., Lil Wayne) records and, yes, blogging, that I’ve gone without, for I simply haven’t been able to confront the emotional luggage said activities pack into this already overstuffed suitcase I call my brain.

(Speaking of which, if Dr Andreasen is willing to shell out $200 to see the inside of Bohle’s head, what I wouldn’t pay for a mere glimpse of its outside: a.k.a. that lovable philthy phace.)

Now that I've finally begun to pick up the emotional pieces, and ponder recent events, I just can't get over how closely they parallel the 1980 death of Led Zeppelin drummer John "Bonzo" Bonham, which led soon after to the surviving members' decision to disband. Sure, our "Bohlzo" is alive and well (thank God) and, yes, he's more of a skin flautist than a drummer, but otherwise the analogy is quite seamless, and his departure's effect on our band is no less glaring.

The blogosphere has been abuzz, as of late, as to whether No Complaints (sans Bohlzo) should, like Led Zeppelin (sans Bonzo), call it quits. After much contemplation, the answer is a resounding no.

No, we shall press forward, but with one caveat. Following the precedent set by A Daily Show, we cannot in good conscience advertise what shall come under the banner of past greatness. As a lasting tribute to our own head writer, whose cohesive talent made us what we are, we shall henceforth adopt a new moniker: Mo' Complaints

For, until the day he returns, there will always be at least one thing to complain about.

Wow

I can't believe how long you guys have gone without eating food! Are you on diets? I get the ultimate lunch hour here in Des Moines. Myself and a coworker come to my place and watch tv! It's the shiznit. If you make a new dirty phrase sometime, such as the "Pool Cue," please keep me updated!