I can't think of a funny theme or picture.

Where's lunch at today? Barring any catastrophic problems, I intend to be there.

Warning:

Watch yourself!

Lunch at EMRB?

Warm it up Kris!

I'm about to!

Warm it up Kris!

That's what I was go'n to do!

Warm it up Kris!

.... I've got no good lines to add to this, so I'm just going to suggest lunch. Any takers?

Last one to lunch is a p**** pump!

Get to EMRB you little wankers (Ohhhhhhh!) http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/375/

Keeping you up! On what's going down!

IOWA CITY, Iowa- Reports are surfacing involving a disaster in MEB today. A flood has hit the upper hallway in the basement area, effectively blocking passage to and from select offices and lab areas.

"Did you see the flood up there?" one employee asked upon walking into work this morning. Most of the employees already at work seemed to nod their heads, saying that they too, had seen the flood.

Al Qaeda has denied all responsibility of this act. They were suspected to begin with because of the obvious side effect of the flooding, the squeek of shoes. This has been a major distraction throughout the day and has set American science back at least as far as the time it's taken me to write this bulletin. "Yeah, I can't get any work done due to the maddening squeek of shoes throughout the lab. It's inhumane," Kristi something-or-other reported when asked about the mental condition of neighboring workers. No word yet on whether or not the low levels of mental activity can be blamed upon the flood, the squeeky shoes, or prior circumstances.

A man named Philthy was overheard relating this disaster to one several years ago involving a popped vericose vein in an adjoining section of the building. "Yeah, it sounded like a train coming towards me. I went up to see what the commotion was and got turned aways away. There was blood like everywhere. This flood isn't nearly that funny, but I still find it amusing."

Areas hardest hit by the flood, which apparently originated from some water, include the hallway in front of Bill's office, and Brumblerhoids old cave. No word yet on how many survivors there are. Stay tuned to NCNC for further details.

This has been a presentation of No Complaints News Corp. Any rebroadcast of this story without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is probably frowned upon.

Pimp Juice

Yeah, the b*tches like me for my Pimp Juice!

I decided on the title of today's post and then went a search'n for images pertaining to pimp juice. This was one of my options. Now, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. What would you do??

Lunch today, gentlemen? My day is looking rather promising, a lot like Grizzly Adams' chances with some groupies at a Dan Fogleberg concert, so where shall it be?

Wednesday Lunch

I'm at a 50/50 % chance for lunch right now. I'll see if I can get on here again before noon to confirm or dis-confirm. Boo ya!

=Gyro Balls?

Sorry I was unable to attend yesterday. Who's down for it (lunch) today? I've got a busy day today, so would EMRB be kosher with everyone?

Gyro Balls

Lunch?

I like it when you call me Big Pa-pa

Assuming I'm not on robot duty at high-noon, I'll be wining and dining at EMRB, with a silver lining! (Damn, my poetry skills are shining!)

Thursday Lunch

I don't know if those Wack guys from Wacker Dr. are back in town yet, but I am thinking Noon lunch at EMRB. Any takers?

Wack Attack, M*****F*****s!

Axe and I will be eating lunch today at 111 East Wacker. 12:00 noon. Any takers?

Monday Lunch might kill you

I'm down for some Noon lunch action. How about you guys?

Anyone out there?

If there is, let me know and join me for lunch?

Unite, fellow girly-men, for 11:45 lunch!

I want kandy!

I do hope this picture is doctored. I really do. Anyway, lunch in the EMRB at noon, anyone?

Soup's on!

How about y'all join me for lunch? EMRBizzy? Elsewhere? Brummblebutt, remember, you have to escort me to an appointment at 12:40.

Fortnightly Clake Invitational

Who: No Complaints Posse
What: Lunch
When: Maybe twice a month at 12:00 MDT (1:00 Iowa time)
Where: TBA
How: By hook or high water
Entertainment: MC Pee Pants
Song: "Mississippi Queen"
Instrument: Harmonica

What d'ya think?

Days of our Complaints

Tune in Today, 1 pm EST, Noon CST, to get your No Complaints questions answered. Will Philthy eat the sandwich that he made last Wednesday to save Bill from the Westside Story dancing gangs? Will Bill reciprocate one kind gesture for another with a mouthful of Tenderloins? Will Brummski eat butt-bread-sandwiches?

EMRB will never make it back, and someone might die too!

Uggghh!

I'm still not feeling well, but I am quite bored so there's a chance I'll still stumble into work today. Also, I want to go to happy hour, so I should probably go to work for at least a little bit to make it okay for me to go drink later.

I think the cause of my illness has something to do with recieving barrier-free iHead from this guy behind the Union Bar. He said it was his first time, and I believed him, mostly because he's at least partially computerized and was wearing an M.I.T. sweatshirt. The fanny pack should have tipped me off though.... SUCH AN IDIOT!

Cat Scratch Fever

I'm calling out the coolest cats in UIHC: get out of my dreams, get into my car, and drive to the EMRB today at noon.