IOWA CITY, Iowa- Reports are surfacing involving a disaster in MEB today. A flood has hit the upper hallway in the basement area, effectively blocking passage to and from select offices and lab areas.
"Did you see the flood up there?" one employee asked upon walking into work this morning. Most of the employees already at work seemed to nod their heads, saying that they too, had seen the flood.
Al Qaeda has denied all responsibility of this act. They were suspected to begin with because of the obvious side effect of the flooding, the squeek of shoes. This has been a major distraction throughout the day and has set American science back at least as far as the time it's taken me to write this bulletin. "Yeah, I can't get any work done due to the maddening squeek of shoes throughout the lab. It's inhumane," Kristi something-or-other reported when asked about the mental condition of neighboring workers. No word yet on whether or not the low levels of mental activity can be blamed upon the flood, the squeeky shoes, or prior circumstances.
A man named Philthy was overheard relating this disaster to one several years ago involving a popped vericose vein in an adjoining section of the building. "Yeah, it sounded like a train coming towards me. I went up to see what the commotion was and got turned aways away. There was blood like everywhere. This flood isn't nearly that funny, but I still find it amusing."
Areas hardest hit by the flood, which apparently originated from some water, include the hallway in front of Bill's office, and Brumblerhoids old cave. No word yet on how many survivors there are. Stay tuned to NCNC for further details.
This has been a presentation of No Complaints News Corp. Any rebroadcast of this story without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is probably frowned upon.
2 comments:
Need I mention, this will be discussed at lunch in EMRB today?
I hereby declare this blog entry the single greatest work in american pop culture since the Sopranos. Reading it got me so excited that I instinctively reached for my turkey sandwich with the entent of gorging myself in an impassioned act of frenzy. But then I got a hold of myself and remembered that right here, in my office, and 10:42, is not the time, nor place, to do so. Rather, I will wait (with bated breath) for EMRB: High Noon.
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