Monday, December 17, 2007

How To: Make Your Own Danny DeVito Cake Topper/Fun Thing

This is a fun and easy craft for any occasion, and all you need is a color printer, a couple of toothpicks, and some clear tape. First, print out this image in color (click to enlarge):



Next, cut out and fold the picture. I recommend cutting a rough rectangle around both DeVito heads at first, folding carefully along the line between them, and then cutting both sides back to back. Then tape a couple of toothpicks to the back side of one DeVito head. Finally, attach both heads together at around the chin area - but don't use too much tape/glue/what-have-you for that because you don't want to mar the pristine image of DeVito.

Now you can take your creation and use it to decorate a cake - or a stack of brownies, as we did to celebrate Philthy's last No Complaints lunch.

You can also omit the toothpicks and instead put this on a pen or pencil. You can even print a bajillion of these things, tape them onto the wrappers of cheap suckers and give them out on Halloween for that "the people who live in this house are frickin' bonkers" effect.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Gettin' the word on for Monday

I've been hearing that Monday is slated to be young master Phillip's last day of No Complaints lunch. I thought I should get the word out ahead of time that a celebration is in order. I'm planning on attending, there will probably be cake, Kim could be convinced to take the trek up the hill to wish Phil good lunch in his future endeavors, AND we're holding out hope for another special guest. I can't reveal too much. It's all still in negotiation, but we are hoping for a certain short, bald, chubby actor/director to make an appearance.

(The above is an actual panel from an Archie comic strip. To the best of my knowledge, it has not been doctored in any way.)

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Blow it up!



What's up, bros? Lunch?!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Melrose Place

Bill: just a head's up that Axe and I (and hopefully a few others) will be chowing down at the Melrose Dining hall today. If you make it in, please join us. PS Boo yeah.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Post 357!

Yeah! Celebrate post number 357 at lunch with me at EMRB!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Go ahead, touch my sandwich


Time: High noon

Place: EMRB

Occassion: Lunch

Reason for Dirty Harry picture: He's a badass motherfucker.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Wednesday with the eating and the kicking and the biting

I'll be at EMRB at Noon if anybody is interested in bro- and/or chow-ing down with me

Doin it and doin it and doin it well


She's represent'n Queens I was raised out in Brooklyn.
Come to lunch today and learn about:
The guy who was picking his nose on the bus... just where did that booger end up?
The haircutter asking me for financial advice... and yeah, I "gave it" to her.
The bite to my upper arm suffered in Real Estate Process... it feels bruised.
Yup, you are my readers.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Monday, the Frozen Tundra Wasteland

Morning gents, I am planning on being at EMRB for lunch today. No exciting strap-ons, or big boys or nothing like that. Just little 'ol me with my razor sharp whit and dirty sense of humor.

P.S. Poop and pee.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Friday

I'll be at lunch today, and I'll be wearing one of these bad boys:


Anyone care to lunch with me and my "strap-on"?

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Movies

While not working today, I tried coming up with some names of Vagina movies. I tried to limit it to sports movies.












All The Right Vaginas
Friday Night Vaginas
Any Vagina Sunday
Caddyvagina
White Vagina Can't Jump
Vagina Nights; The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tin Vagina
Varsity Vaginas
Above the Vagina
North Dallas Vagina
Vaginas in the Outfield
Mighty Vaginas
The Greatest Vagina Ever Played
Debby Does Vagina (sort of a sports movie)
Gridiron Vagina
Forget Vagina (a stretch, "Forget Paris.")
Glory Vagina
Play it to the Vagina
Wildcats

[PICTURE OF A DOG LICKING A BISON'S TESTICLES]

I'm planning on eating at the EMRB today at 12:15 if there's going to be anyone else there. Are you in?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Hey Michael

I'm in for lunch at EMRB at Noon if you are. Let me know the scoop, hombre.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Hot Cook'n at EMRB

Tailgating season may be over, but how can I help looking for ideas for next year? Come to EMRB at noon and maybe you'll meet these two fellas, and you can see for yourself just how hung they are despite their wirey physique.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Bohle?

Lunch?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Superman dat OH!

Hey Brummski! On your way to EMRB today, watch out for that sheet following close behind you. I don't want anyone else tripping over it.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Shitty Pat Monday at EMRB

Just keeping the dream alive. Brummblepie? You in?

Friday, November 16, 2007

Fuck You Friday at EMRB


(click to enlargen)

I'll be there at about 12:15... will you?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thursday, my last day for a while (again)

So I was gone for a majority of last week, and because of the Thanksgiving holiday I will be gone all of next week. That's just general info for everybody on the blog to know. So Michael, no pressure but if you're down for lunch today I'll be at EMRB at Noon.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Big Day for Your PB&J


This little guys is six months old today!

Also, I'll be having lunch in EMRB at noon. You're welcome to join me... unless I'm too REAL for you.