Complaints, indeed

My fellow No Complaintians, I feel that today, for no reason whatsoever, the people of Lunch Blogdium deserve to know the state of Lunch.
People; we have an enemy in our mist (and no, I don't mean "midst!"). The rest of the world knows these teammates as Taste and Class, but we know them as the two-headed monster that is out to destroy the world we know. They are willing to sacrifice nothing in an effort to kill our spirits and sense of humor. They have fired direct attacks on Bawdiness and have Grotesque completely embargoed. The rest of EMRB Cafe is willing to stand by idly and allow these travesties to occur. It's obviously up to us, the Democracy of No Complaints, to up the ante and fire back into the heart of their capitals, Sophistication and Refinement. Our citizens will have to sacrifice, but that's the price of freedom. We're going to have to produce twice as many poop jokes and up to three times as many chode references. Bill and Brumplestiltzkin will have to double team Taste on the Sheets'de-soiled while I quietly take out Class behind d'Knight'stand. We must nuge and scrooge without mercy! This is a war that we must win at all costs.
The consequences of a loss? Citizens, I shudder to think of what that world would bring.
Remember, you're either with us, or you're against us, harboring WMDs (Weapons of Mass Discernment)!
God Bless Our Lunch!
Are you with me?!