It's Monday and I had a dentist appointment at 8:00 this morning

That's right, which makes me HUNGRY. For love. And also lunch. Noon, ladies and gents?

If Anybody is Around

Hey everybody, it's the 5th of July and I'm going to lunch at Noon if anybody else is up for it. I know that Phil is gone but I'm not sure about anybody else. Hope to hear from ya!

Trolling at its finest

Disclaimer: this post is low-brow, even by No Complaints standards, but the following vandalism to Wikipedia's "Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest" page simply had to be brought to the masses (and by masses, I of course mean Bill and Phil):


Nathan's International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest is an annual competitive eating competition held at Nathan's Famous Corporation's original and best-known restaurant at the corner of Penis and Wheenis Avenues in Coney Island, Brooklyn, New York. The event is held on July 4, and is regarded as the world's most famous penis resembling eating contest. In 2006, over 30,000 spectators attended the event, and an additional 1.5 million households masturbated to it live on ESPN.^[1]

The 69th annual contest will be held July 4, 2007, and will be televised live on ESPN at high noon. EDT. Six-time defending champion Takeru "Balls Deep" Kobayashi will attempt to win his seventh straight despite suffering from reported jaw pain. Balls Deep will be challenged by Joey "Pimple Cock" Chestnut, who recently shattered his cock eating record by eating 106 cocks in a qualifying event^[2]

Dose of Own Medicine as Brumm Gets Taken for a (Mustache) Ride

By a 57-56 margin, Phillip "Bohlayashi" Bohle has emerged victorious this evening in the much-anticipated "Stricken by Chicken" wing-eating contest. Despite a Brumble barrage of psychological warfare -- including the resurgence of his Bizarro Prefontaine persona (dormant since 2001) -- it was Bohle who went the distance tonight in Iowa City's Vine Tavern.

Neck and neck after 4 baskets, each reeling from the one-two punch of 2 pints of wing sauce and 1 bitchy waitress, it was the fans who propelled each contestant to the brink. "I wouldn't even have broken 50 if not for the crowd's enthusiasm," said Brumm afterwards, before passing out into a pile of his own reversal of fortune. "The fans were great," added Bohle, "especially that one lady sitting at the bar."

In lieu of an official prize for the winner, it is rumored that Massachusetts may cede 1 electoral vote to Iowa, but confirmation is pending as this entry goes to press. It is confirmed, however, that the people of Swedesburg may sleep soundly knowing that Steve and Susie's kid ate 8 celery sticks to Bohle's 7, and increased the town's mean BMI by 1 SD. Cresco, meanwhile, need no longer claim its fame on having produced the world's 1st airline stewardess, as there is a new sheriff in town -- his badge: the Nobel Prize of Gluttony.

We're supposed to work today, right?

Hey everybody, it's Monday of 4th of July week. Boo ya!! I'm planning on hitting up a Noon lunch. Anybody with me?

I can't think of a funny theme or picture.

Where's lunch at today? Barring any catastrophic problems, I intend to be there.

Warning:

Watch yourself!

Lunch at EMRB?

Warm it up Kris!

I'm about to!

Warm it up Kris!

That's what I was go'n to do!

Warm it up Kris!

.... I've got no good lines to add to this, so I'm just going to suggest lunch. Any takers?

Last one to lunch is a p**** pump!

Get to EMRB you little wankers (Ohhhhhhh!) http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/375/

Keeping you up! On what's going down!

IOWA CITY, Iowa- Reports are surfacing involving a disaster in MEB today. A flood has hit the upper hallway in the basement area, effectively blocking passage to and from select offices and lab areas.

"Did you see the flood up there?" one employee asked upon walking into work this morning. Most of the employees already at work seemed to nod their heads, saying that they too, had seen the flood.

Al Qaeda has denied all responsibility of this act. They were suspected to begin with because of the obvious side effect of the flooding, the squeek of shoes. This has been a major distraction throughout the day and has set American science back at least as far as the time it's taken me to write this bulletin. "Yeah, I can't get any work done due to the maddening squeek of shoes throughout the lab. It's inhumane," Kristi something-or-other reported when asked about the mental condition of neighboring workers. No word yet on whether or not the low levels of mental activity can be blamed upon the flood, the squeeky shoes, or prior circumstances.

A man named Philthy was overheard relating this disaster to one several years ago involving a popped vericose vein in an adjoining section of the building. "Yeah, it sounded like a train coming towards me. I went up to see what the commotion was and got turned aways away. There was blood like everywhere. This flood isn't nearly that funny, but I still find it amusing."

Areas hardest hit by the flood, which apparently originated from some water, include the hallway in front of Bill's office, and Brumblerhoids old cave. No word yet on how many survivors there are. Stay tuned to NCNC for further details.

This has been a presentation of No Complaints News Corp. Any rebroadcast of this story without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is probably frowned upon.

Pimp Juice

Yeah, the b*tches like me for my Pimp Juice!

I decided on the title of today's post and then went a search'n for images pertaining to pimp juice. This was one of my options. Now, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. What would you do??

Lunch today, gentlemen? My day is looking rather promising, a lot like Grizzly Adams' chances with some groupies at a Dan Fogleberg concert, so where shall it be?

Wednesday Lunch

I'm at a 50/50 % chance for lunch right now. I'll see if I can get on here again before noon to confirm or dis-confirm. Boo ya!

=Gyro Balls?

Sorry I was unable to attend yesterday. Who's down for it (lunch) today? I've got a busy day today, so would EMRB be kosher with everyone?

Gyro Balls

Lunch?

I like it when you call me Big Pa-pa

Assuming I'm not on robot duty at high-noon, I'll be wining and dining at EMRB, with a silver lining! (Damn, my poetry skills are shining!)

Thursday Lunch

I don't know if those Wack guys from Wacker Dr. are back in town yet, but I am thinking Noon lunch at EMRB. Any takers?

Wack Attack, M*****F*****s!

Axe and I will be eating lunch today at 111 East Wacker. 12:00 noon. Any takers?

Monday Lunch might kill you

I'm down for some Noon lunch action. How about you guys?

Anyone out there?

If there is, let me know and join me for lunch?

Unite, fellow girly-men, for 11:45 lunch!

I want kandy!

I do hope this picture is doctored. I really do. Anyway, lunch in the EMRB at noon, anyone?

Soup's on!

How about y'all join me for lunch? EMRBizzy? Elsewhere? Brummblebutt, remember, you have to escort me to an appointment at 12:40.

Fortnightly Clake Invitational

Who: No Complaints Posse
What: Lunch
When: Maybe twice a month at 12:00 MDT (1:00 Iowa time)
Where: TBA
How: By hook or high water
Entertainment: MC Pee Pants
Song: "Mississippi Queen"
Instrument: Harmonica

What d'ya think?

Days of our Complaints

Tune in Today, 1 pm EST, Noon CST, to get your No Complaints questions answered. Will Philthy eat the sandwich that he made last Wednesday to save Bill from the Westside Story dancing gangs? Will Bill reciprocate one kind gesture for another with a mouthful of Tenderloins? Will Brummski eat butt-bread-sandwiches?

EMRB will never make it back, and someone might die too!

Uggghh!

I'm still not feeling well, but I am quite bored so there's a chance I'll still stumble into work today. Also, I want to go to happy hour, so I should probably go to work for at least a little bit to make it okay for me to go drink later.

I think the cause of my illness has something to do with recieving barrier-free iHead from this guy behind the Union Bar. He said it was his first time, and I believed him, mostly because he's at least partially computerized and was wearing an M.I.T. sweatshirt. The fanny pack should have tipped me off though.... SUCH AN IDIOT!

Cat Scratch Fever

I'm calling out the coolest cats in UIHC: get out of my dreams, get into my car, and drive to the EMRB today at noon.

The Life & Times of MC Pee Pants

After conducting a Google Pictures search for "harmonica + funny", I inexplicably came up with this. Anyway, who's up for a little exploration today? I propose Colloton Commons, located on the lower level of John Colloton Pavilion off of elevator H. Who is down?

Poetry in Motion

I'm thinking that we should all band together and write a poem today. Feel free to add lines as you wish.

EMRB
It's the place to be
Noon on The dot
after I pee
If the heavens Shall open
If the ground shall tremble
You can count on me
but don't Blame the pee!

Tuesday EMRB Lunch!

Hey guys, sorry I am late but I just got in. If anybody is interested in lunch at EMRB lunch at Noon today I will be there (but probably 5 minutes late)

Otterlicious

That, my friends, is a sea otter going to the "loo", which is British for what we Americans call the "shitter". I snapped this beauty at the Seattle Aquarium. As for what venue I'd choose for the unveiling, there was never any doubt. No Complaints won the "scoop" faster than you can say "____". On that note, can you say lunch? Where should it be held?

Mofos before Gofos!

Mary's here now so I'm ditching your candyasses -- psych!
D*cks before Ch*cks, mother f*c*ers!
Shall we make it the EMRB?

Git'cher Gonads

Strange subject line, huh? Anyways, I plan on lunch'n and munch'n at the EMRBreezy.

Delayed return

I'm back, dudes, but cannot make it to lunch today. My sincere apologies for being a gebroni.

If anybody is down for some Monday Lunch

I am in!

Friday Lunch

I'm pulling my 'ol Nooner trick, but I am planning on being at lunch at the EMRB. Noon-ish. Boo ya

Yasir Arafat

Lunch? EMRBizzle? I'll be there.

Rowdy, Rowdy

Gentlemen, start your sandwiches. Where is our noon date today?

My apologies

Sorry I was unable to start the summer off on the right foot, attendance-wise. Had I not had to drink some beers Sunday to celebrate Mother's Day (I kept up with Mom, but barely), I would have been in Iowa City before 11 am yesterday, and would have been at work an appropriate amount of time to be able to attend lunch, guilt-free.

I plan on making it today, wherever anyone wishes, as long as no one tries to have sex with me in a very uncomfortable place.... like the back seat of a Volkswagon. I can't gaurantee that though, as sometime today I have to go tend to No-Complaints' second generation, which is currently in the maternity ward (I'm talking about Chris's kid. I just realized we are under an abundant crop of pregnant ladies, so I wanted to get that straight). If visiting hours happen to fall around lunchtime, I have a difficult decision to make.

School's! Out! For! Summer!

But I am still here and will eat lunch at ... EMRB? The Atrium? Any thoughts?

7th floor Atrium

I propose, nay, insist!, upon eating today at the Atrium (Located in John Colloton Pavilion on the 7th floor off of elevator F.) today.

The finest meats and cheeses for all!

Except me, who will be eating a PB & Shit.

Table for 1!

Michael Brumm will be dining today -- friendless, alone, and crestfallen -- in his office: W287 GH.

What a douchebag!

Seriously, Brummblebutt, what type of Masshole doesn't check outside on a beautiful spring day at lunch?

Dance Dance Revolution

I'll be strutting out my moves at the Emurb at the noonhour. Will you??

Lunch Contest

With the playoffs going on, I just wanted to remind everyone about the standings.

Phil: 100 points
Chris: -0 points
Bill: 99.415 points
Michael: 12 and one half ounces
Thomine: 33.333 points
Axe: Duffel bag
Dianna: 84 points

Remember, today is an elimination round. If you lose at lunch today, you're done until next week.

Wednesday lunch

Lunch is a definite for this guy! Hope to see you there.

Shipoopie PoPo

Lunch? Sorry, no time for a fancy photo or illustration or joke.

A photo must be ours!

This is a call to action. As illustrated by post 199 ("New Developments"), the blogosphere is clearly abuzz over the recent sighting in EMRB of a DDD (Danny Devito Doppelgänger). It is vital that this be confirmed ASAP via indisputable photographic evidence. I hereby offer a reward of $5 (and whatever sandwich I've happened to prepare on this fateful day) to the 1st person who delivers these much coveted goods.

MILESTONE

I'd like to have your attention, please. No Complaints has been a pretty exciting organization as of late. With the strong posts, exciting pictures, and earth shattering commentary, it's easy to get caught up in the glamour of being hardcore lunch bloggers, but I think it's important that we take time to savor the level we have attained in lunchdom blogdom. As you all know, this is the 200th post on No Complaints. They never thought we would last like this, but dammit, we've proven them wrong. While we're feasting on our triumph, it's important for us to remember just how fragile life really is.... just look at Axe's blog, if you can remember the name of it. We were once a bushleague blog, simply posting our lunch plans for the day. Hell, we didn't even have titles and even pictures are relatively new to this publication. Look at us now! We're commenting on life's intricacies and making plans for lunch at the same time. We're even using paragraphs....

Today is a time to celebrate. Soak it in. Smell it. Roll in it. Put your legs through it like a pair of comfortable, but yet stylish, pair of briefs. Two Hundred. It feels good, but let's stay strong and keep our eyes on the prize. The triple century mark is only one hundred posts away. At that time we will reevaluate whether we've trully made the big-time.

And yes, I'll be at lunch.

New Developments

I thought I should record this in the blog, because it is a major development in No Complaints, lunch at EMRB, and the whole concept of lunch in general. Today, we saw a man walk by who looked quite a bit like Danny DeVito. Michael was the first to spot him, and we all had our doubts, but we turned our heads as the man in question walked by, and lo it was true. Most of us did not see him at all from the front, but it was widely agreed that he greatly resembled the actor/director from behind. Bill, in fact, was heard to comment that the man had more than a little "DeVito in the seat-o".

One-Ninety-Eight!

Lunch? Yo? Lunch? Yo? Lunch?

Post #197

The countdown continues. Who's gonna be at lunch?

Formidable Friday

What's got 2 thumbs and is going to lunch?

This guy!

A serious question needs answering.

This one is for the gentlemen in our group (now that I think about it, this blog is sort of a sausage-fest, so it's pretty much for everyone). On more than one occasion in recent days, I've been using a urinal in a public restroom. People have walked up next to me, started going in their respective urinal, and flushed, WHILE STILL GOING. They finish up (I'm a long pee-er, so I have the opportunity to observe all this), zip up, and flush again. What's with the first flush? It seems wasteful. Also, unsanitary. I'm okay with flushing at the end, because whatever germs I just picked up on my hand are immediately rinsed off at the sink. However, if I touch the lever, and then go back to attending to Big Shot Bob, whatever germs I've accumulated there aren't going away. This is distressing to me.

It's Thirsty Thursday

And I'm gonna be slurpin' an overpriced pitcher of EMRB's finest house soup.

p.s. Just for the record, No Complaints post # 200 is on the horizon. I think there will be a lot of honor in being the one to write this...

I really wish I could find the video of this

YouTube has pulled this video due to copyright something something, but here's a link to the news story:CNET interviewer assaulted by flying wang

Airborne penises this week attacked CNET reporter and Second Life publicist Daniel Sadville, causing an unprecedented although not insurmountable interview interruption.

Definately a Star Trek holodeck episode waiting to happen.

Prepare for Lunch

Let's make this happen! Damn the critics and nay-sayers!

It's on like Donkey Kong

I'll be there, will you??

Potty Humor

Let us take a moment and reflect on this Good Friday. Let us ponder the meaning of life, and remember those who have come before us. Like the guy who invented the chilidog, or the pink sock, or even the (insert city here) steamer. Lest we not forget the inspiration that Danny Devito has provided us with. Let us then pride ourselves in what we have become, and still aspire to be. Cheers, to the future! And I'll be seeing you at lunch. Godspeed.

YMCA

Wow, you don't even have to search that hard to find just about anything you've ever seen on the internet:

Here's another clue for you all, the walrus was Phil

"Goo goo g' joob"
(Walrus for "Lunch, anyone?")

Funny or Not?

Anyone for lunch in the awe-inspiring surroundings of EMRB?

Follow-Up to Friday

Little Britain:

We must protect this house!

And on that note, can I count on my brethren, and sisters (your secret's safe with me, Brummski), to be there for lunch?

Nothing to do with lunch.

Since Clake has been overachieving and posting pictures, I thought I'd throw my proverbial hat into the ring. By the way, that's a rooster, not a hen. The one with the ears is a rabbit, not a rooster. They're fornicating, not hugging. This is black and white, not in color.

Oh yeah, that's a good little.....

....I've got nothing. I'd be willing to brainstorm at lunch though, with some help.

It's Me Bitches

I'm not 100% sure I can make it to lunch today, but I'll try to be there. Just giving you the Four-One-One (411 for those who can't read spelled out numbers).

Is Lunch Happen?

Log in please leave message below..

Lunch?

Your fifth-grade writing assignment is to come up with a story to explain this picture. Also, is anyone up for lunch? Is this blog updated anymore?

Meal of Steel

Anyone up for some EMRB lunch?

Richard Pryor is frightened because he does not understand that humans cannot smell super-flatulance. Also, if you are carried in front of Superman, you are not in danger of being blinded. Find out more at EMRB.

Pancakes is ready!

who's hungry?

Turd Ferguson

Who's goin to lunch?

I do, I vant vone!

Ghetto Fabulous

Live the life of a rock star.... or eat lunch with me today. It's your choice. Now do something about it!

Have you seen it?

DIIIIISSSSS NUT!!!!

Give me your reactions at lunch. Maybe I can arrange for a guest speaker, as well.

Fig Newtons Bitches!

I'll plan on being at lunch! Rejoice with fiber!

Have you seen 'em?

i'm on the fence about lunch. any takers?

Who Dat?

Any peeps show'n up at the ol' Marby? (EMRB)

Go shorty

Lunch?

Word to your mother

I'm running plates today, which means my schedule is a little f'ed in the a. I'll try to make every effort I can, however, to be in attendance at lunch. Kapishe?

You down with OPB?

Yeah you know me!

Eemer Meember Reemer Beemer at Neemer.

Back on track!

Everybody, just wanted to announce that I am back on blogger, so lunch can be taken care of through No Complaints!

Booyakasha!

Eating
Mike
Returns,
Bitches

Bowing out

alas, my morning snoozefest forces a chice between skipping lunch or working until 8pm; reluctantly, i choose the former. until tomorrow, comrades/

Mercredi Dejeuner

Mon Freres, mangez avec moi aujourd'hui

Tuesday Nooner

I will be at the EMRB at Noon today.

Lunch?

I think I might possibly be there.

It's a go for the brummski

Wednesday

Lunch

Who yelled assholes?

lunch?

Welcome to Google

Bitches! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

no soup for me

the brumblestiltzki will not be running wild in the the emrb today.

It's my lunch in a box

1. Buy a lunch box
2. Put your lunch in that box
3. Come to EMRB and open the box

State of the Blog

I propose that in the next fiscal year we increase our presence in EMRB by 20,000 sandwiches. This topic will be open to debate at lunch today.

Fellow BSEMFs

Big Sandwich Eating Mother F..... join me

Snack attack M**herF***ers!

i'll be at EMRB at 12:00

Lunch No Go

Can't make it today I'm afraid.

bouillon!

join me

Skyyyy Rockets in Flight!

Eat'n Lunch Delight!

Nooner. Be there, or be square.

Calling all of Rob's "sweet" guys

"Bill and Phil are sweet guys" - Rob Philibert, 12/29/06. Come to lunch to hear more tidbits from my cambus conversation with Rob.

starting the year off with a whimper

i can't make it today as i must tco"b".
hopefully manana...