AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

this time I'll really be there!

HI! I'm back. Would you eat lunch with me?

I will be at lunch today

Sayin'

Anti-Earth Day

I'm not yet sure if I'll be riding a styrofoam Hummer directly into EMRB, or if I'll just be bringing my lunch in a styrofoam container, but by one of these two means I will be doing my small part to destroy the earth. Will you?

In other news, check out this Iowa City recycling resource (click on "Iowa City")

Harinder's last day

Hey everybody, the Philibert lab is eating lunch downtown today because it's Harinder's last day. She's been with Rob the longest of all of us, so this is the end of an era! We'll fill you in on the juicy details tomorrow.

Research Assistants Unite!

Is anyone up for lunch today? Or, to phrase it differently, is anyone "down with" lunch today?

Thursday Lunch

I'll be there today, I may or may not be late because I'm working with Rob right now.

First Image Result 4 "Sean Thompson"

Hans, Bill and myself have all been subjected to this game, and now it's Sean's turn. Looks like somebody has a secret -- a potentially lucrative secret that could earn him big bucks should he make it to MLB. But why would an aspiring star pitcher be a research assistant by day? And why #73? Were all the other numbers already taken? Was Sean really at a HD conference in Phoenix...or was it a tryout with the Arizona Diamondbacks?

p.s. I B @ Lunch 2 DAY!

First result for Google image search on "lunch"

Be there

Bohle Tarts

Unfortunately I have to purchase my tarts this afternoon, I forgot to save money and bring my own. So I'll be at lunch at about 12:05 or so.

Come 2 Lunch You Slime, You Greaseballs

Hey, so there's a new GI Joe movie coming out this summer and I only have one question: does former WWF superstar Sgt Slaughter (featured below) have a cameo in it? If so, I will be there for the premiere. If not I will wait for Netflix.

In other news, how does a cobra clutch sandwich sound for lunch today?

Mike Tyson's Lunch-Out!

The other day a friend referred me to the following trailer for The Hangover, a film that opens tomorrow. The trailer features an unexpected and quite hilarious cameo / air drum solo (about 45 sec in) that I think Mo' Complaints will appreciate:



After my friend told me about this, I started to tell her the back story to the classic Phil Collins track, "In The Air Tonight". Perhaps you've heard this story -- it's referenced in that song "Stan" by Eminem -- about how Phil Collins witnessed a drowning & how there was this other guy on the scene who could have saved the person drowning but didn't & how Mr Collins then wrote a song about the event, invited the other guy to a concert to sit in the front row, put a spotlight on him, and stared directly into his eyes whilst singing:

Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
Ive seen your face before my friend
But I don't know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been
Its all been a pack of lies

In the middle of recounting this story -- which I first heard about 10 years ago -- I suddenly got this strange feeling that I'd been "urban legended", i.e., that this story I heard 10 years ago was actually just a "pack of lies." A quick visit to Wikipedia settled the matter: sure enough, this story is an urban legend.

In other words, for 10 years now I've been living a lie. This realization is crushing. What other firmly-believed Phil Collins-related factoids of mine are untrue? Was he really in a band called Genesis? Is he really related to Danny DeVito? Anyway, please come to lunch today to console me and otherwise convince me that there is still some truth in this world...

Pass the Pepto-Bismol

Chili powder-laden 1/3-pound quesadilla @ baseline: TASTEY!

Chili powder-laden 1/3-pound quesadilla @ 12-hour follow-up: ~misery~

p-value: <.001



(I'll be at lunch today.)
((Colon-willing.))

Ceasar's Salad

I can't believe I waited so long to take the online sexual harassment course.

You guys let me down...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzgVPB5dpgg

Ah-ha! Here is the movie that scares the absolute crap out of me...you all let me down!!! You should have know it was this!!!! I'm goign to make Phil and Clake fart on you!!!!

It's Monday

And I'll be at lunch today. Be there or be square, bitches!

Zoo Nachos

A special Saturday edition of No Complaints lunch was held today at the Blank Park Zoo in Des Moines - with Philthy appearing as an extra-special guest. The zoo concession stand's offerings include "mac & cheese bites", which are triangular lumps of macaroni and cheese, battered and deep-fried. It's horrifying to think that something as anutritional as this appears on the kids menu, but nonetheless Philthy and Clake agreed that there should be a lobbying campaign to try to convince at least one Iowa City bar to serve this fried treat. The fried, cheesy goodness of this snack was in fact so great that it gave Clake and Philthy the power to fart simultaneously in the prairie dog enclosure, causing three children to collapse - overcome by the gas - blocking the only exit.

Andrew Juhl's official request to join Mo' Complaints

Request for Adjunct Membership in the Mo’ Complaints Blog
Name?: Andrew Robert Kenneth Juhl
Aliases?: Andy; Ledge Guy; The Ledge Guy; Andrew Arrrr Juhl; Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes; Sugarfoot McGee (story
available upon request); Lord Hesto Conrad Willemucker, VII, Esq.; Pookman; Lemmywinks
Age?: Ain’t nothing but a number.
Sex?: 8====D
Hobbies?: Nope; really more of a Calvinist. Also, there’s only one of me (nice attempt at a fat joke, though).
[Sidenote: Once, in 1993, I laughed at a Garfield strip. I’ve never quite recovered emotionally.]
Average Hilarity of Off‐the‐Cuff Remarks?: 42 Babblefish Towels.
Average Appropriateness of Off‐the‐Cuff Remarks?: Blow it out your ass, Mother Superior.
Smell?: Eggy. Excepts weekends and Jewish high holidays.
Milkshake Making Ability?: Superb. Very likely better than reviewers’. Lessons available (fee negotiable).
Need for inclusion?: Palpable.
Average number of days a week I might make it to lunch?: 1.7725.

I have seen into the future

In the year 2015 after everybody else gets married off, the remainder of the Mo Complaints lunch blog, Bill and Bret, will have no other choice than to become life partners.

Lunch: are we doing it?

A Tale of 2 Lunches

Michael's only attended 1 lunch so far this week (with 1 hairstyle) and today he plans to attend his 2nd lunch this week (with a new hairstyle). Be sure to compliment him on his new beard.

BIG WELCOME BACK BASH FOR JESS!!!!

Jess is back from Jersey! Woo-hoo!!! And husband-less... :(

To welcome her back, the group is goingto buy her lunch - for the rest of the month. Be sure to compliment my new haircut.

ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com presents: lunch!

I'm Your Twin Brother!

Our old friend Nikki bought me a beer this weekend.

For full details, be at lunch today.

My other shirt is a snuggie

Get Your Ass to Mars (The Trilogy)!

Ladies & Jessica, er, Jessica & Gents:

I will not be able to make lunch today. I'm sorry. To make it up to you, here is the full version of "Get Your Ass to Mars" AKA "Get Your Ass to Mars (Parts 1, 2 & 3)":

Get your ass to Mars!

Get your ass to Mars!
Get your ass to Mars!
Get your ass to Mars!
Get your ass to Mars!
Get your ass to Mars!

Governated!

Pictured above is a Photoshop creation titled "Devolution of Man" that I'd like to share in honor of my recent return (to reality) from sunny Sacramento, CA (home of the Governator). I know I didn't tell you that I was going there, and I'm sorry for that -- as I know how much you all worry when I don't show up to lunch or comment on the blog for 5 days in a row. Anyway, I'll be at lunch today.

Lunch today at Noon or else ...

Because I can!

I'm not sure how to explain this, but at least it fits some sort of pattern...

Lunch 2day?

I'll be there if it's going down. I'll try not to infect anyone with my Swine Flu. Oink oink!

I'll be at lunch today

You little wankers.

Come to Lunch You Little Wankers!

[WARNING: includes "F" word, "P" word, and "W" word]

Monday Lunch

I will be at lunch today, EMRB at Noon!

Horse snuggie

Look Jessica! If you truly love your horse, you'd get him one.

Plus, it would get him/her some action, right?

I'll be late today

I'll be at lunch at about 12:15 or so today. Hope to see you there!

Feeling uninspired today

But hungry! Who's with me?!?

For those of you who missed my guest appearance on the Simpsons this weekend

We can talk all about it at lunch today! EMRB at Noon - you guys down?

Wednesday Contacts

I won't be at lunch today because I've got a contact lens appointment downtown. I'll be in tomorrow for sure, though!

There is nothing artistic about this post

Nor is there anything artistic about the way I stuff my face at lunch. EMRB, Noon.

My compliments to the artist

Screw that old hack Da Vinci, if you want to eat some lunch with a REAL artist, he who has created the "Sistine Chapel" of the Mo-Complaints lunch blog, I invite you to join us with Michael brumm today at EMRB, Noon.

Are We Lunching Today?

Phil will be at lunch today!

Nope sorry, that was a lie. I figured that if everybody thought that Phil was here today then more people would show up to lunch. We shall see how it works out, especially now that you all know I'm a huge lying bastard.

Posting from my iPhone

To let you guys know that I'll be at lunch today. Let's get this party started.

I'll be there

To commemorate my first post, I've added photos from Hawkeye Point, the previously mentioned highest point in IA.

Tuesday Lunch

Michael be back at EMRB today. Who is with me?

Monday Lunch

Let's do it!!! EMRB at Noon. It can keep our minds off the dreary day. Be there or be square!

Burgers and Birth Control

WOMEN'S LIB LUNCHEON!!!

EMRB - Noon

BE THERE [or else i'm throwing your clothes in the front yard and you're sleeping on the couch].

Princes & Paupers

Come to lunch today. While the rest of us drink tap water, William "Villa Billa" Adams will be drinking this:

Villa View

How about Noon lunch at EMRB? Afterwards we can come back to my place for drinks & party.

Bill'll Be Back!

Though unconfirmed at this point, rumor has it that Bill will be back at lunch today. Location: EMRB; Time: Noon.

Oh, and we might want to get there early if we want to get a table, cos the return of The Bill tends to bring the ladies out in mass.

PB&T

Peanut butter & tears. That's what I ate yesterday when -- just like the boy in this picture -- I sat by myself while all of the cool EMRB kids had fun around me. Will today be more of the same shame, or will my friends come back to me?

Hans and I are no better than Brett

I will not be at lunch today...:(

Goat Week Continues

[Insert goat video/picture here]

Lunch at Noonish, EMRB

FAINTING GOATS

Cold Brew Cupcake Friday

Pictured to the left is a container not of motor oil, but of "cold brewed" coffee, which I referenced at yesterday's lunch. According to howtobrewcoffee.com:

“They” say that cold brewed coffee is lower in acid and lower in caffeine, thus good for those with sensitive stomachs

Perhaps by "senstitive stomachs" they mean "insensitive palates"? At any rate, I want to try making this. Would anyone try it if I brought some to lunch?

Also, today's lunch plans are as follows:

1. 11:58 meet at the water fountain in the hallway outside of Bill’s office
2. 12:00 lunch* in Brett’s office

*Jessica brought cupcakes!

Spring break is over

It's time we all did our duty and attended lunch. 12:00pm in the EMRB, be there.

Mulletproof...I Wish I Was

Above, as promised, are three pictures of brumpelstiltskin with a mullet. Having won the bet, the rest of Mo' Complaints now owes me 1 overpriced pastry from the EMRB/Starbuck cafe. I think I'll go with the pain au chocolat. I will collect my money at Noon!

Today’s EMRB Special: Beefcake

It’s “Obscure 80s WWF Superstar Tuesday” here at Mo’ Complaints and, as you can see, today’s honoree is Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. Mr Beefcake is a former WWF tag team champion (along with then-partner, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine) and is perhaps best known for adding insult to the injury of defeated opponents by snipping their hair off (using his trademark barber shears) after he’d pinned them for a 3-count. Mr Beefcake’s presence on the blog today is especially fitting since Michael will be getting a (long overdue) haircut later this afternoon.

Monday Lunch

Hope to see you at EMRB at High Noon!

tickle me jesus

I wanted to see what all the buzz was about posting. I thinks' I've done it. Hey bill, thanks for not ruffie-ing me at Joe's last night. Much appreciated.

Eat lunch with us today!

Otherwise you're out of our secret club of awesomeness!

The Men of Mo-Complaints

There were so many great reviews of the Phil, Michael and Hans photos that I thought I should post the link to the rest of the pics. Just click the title of this post to see the sexiest men in the Greater Iowa City / Coralville area.

Mo' Complaints: the 'David Bowie' of Blogs?

The more I reflect on it, the more I'm wowed by the recent renaissance of Mo' Complaints. Many people -- err, well the 2 non-contributors who sometimes read it -- thought we were dead (and not without good reason), but now, out of nowhere, we're back with new contributors, professional photography, female members (yeah, J & HK!) , male models, martini expertise, and an ongoing blogosphere-buzzing discussion regarding the proper title for what's currently being referred to as the 'brush-off'.

Our reinvention reminds me of one David Bowie (pictured), a so-called 'musical chameleon" who frequently reinvented his music and image during the 1970s and beyond. In honor of him, I hereby declare today 'Eye Patch and Green Lipstick Tuesday' at EMRB. While do don't have to wear an eye patch or green lipstick in order to attend lunch today, if you do, I will personally buy you an $8 PB&J sandwich from the EMRB cafe.

MEBRAS: the fashion models of Psychiatry

If you want to see gentlemen like these during your lunch hour, I recommend you be at MERB today at Noon for lunch.

Number 400!

Wow, what a great day to be alive! I wanted to take time to thank all of you, and then I noticed that No/Mo Complaints has had 399 posts. I wanted to pick out a Google image of "400" and this came up on the first page of results. All I can say is: Koooo-be! The condom can be found in the corner in the morning...

I just wanted to say thank you for the fantastic lunch on Friday. Not only did the expensive tuna sandwich help cure a hangover, but the crowd at EMRB helped cap off one helluva birthday celebration.

If someone could please keep me posted on what we're calling "The Brush-off," that would be great!

It was good to be "home."

The Return of the Phil

Hey all, today's lunch will have a special guest star. You should make it if you can, Phil will be signing autographs (anywhere you like).

Alkohol...

SEE YOU ALL AT LUNCH @ 12:00 in the EMRB

I thought that today's (and my first) blog post should be about making the perfect martini, the ultimate, classy alcoholic beverage. Personally, I believe that the only true martini is a gin martini, and I like the dry vermouth (the light color vermouth).

This article (http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Martinis) suggests adding the vermouth to the glass and swirling to coat the glass, then pouring off the excess (or not if you like a little more vermouth flavor). I recommend you taste a little vermouth by itself, it's not bad as it is made in similar fashion to wine, and this little experiment can inform your decision to go more or less on the vermouth. The way I approach the vermouth is to add the ice to the shaker and pour in about a 1oz shot of vermouth and shake that around to coat the ice, then pour off the excess. This is probably a little more wasteful, and I think would result in less vermouth in you martini. Then add 3-4oz of Gin (some recommendations are made in the article, but Beefeater gin is what I like [ http://www.beefeatergin.com/index.php ]), shake and pour. I don't buy any of the snobbish business about stirring versus shaking. Shaking makes a delightful beverage.

Vodka or Gin? Bill believes that Gin tastes like gasoline, but this is erroneous. Gin actually tastes like turpentine (I used to paint houses and siphon gas [separate incidents]), as both are made from conifers. That being said, a good gin martini needs a little vermouth and an olive to be complete. On the other hand, a Vodka Martini needs a little something extra as it is a blank canvas. I prefer these to be served dirty (add a splash of olive juice from the jar). However, you can also add citrus, onions, extra vermouth, or whatever strikes your fancy (see the article for a description of a smokey martini). All these options provide endless potential for getting stupid.

On a final note, according to the article a vodka martini is "properly called a Kangaroo." Personally, I love that, and I would derive some pleasure from ordering a "Kangaroo" just to see if the bartender immediately grabs the Vodka and Vermouth. I would, in that moment, finally be cool ;-)

Wednesday Lunch

Looks like Hans is now officially a contributor! To celebrate I suggest lunch at Noon at EMRB. Yes, I do have a hidden flask of whiskey.

First pic in a Google Image search for Hans Packer

I call shenanigans because it's Boersma, not Packer. Stupid Google! Oh yeah, lunch. Let's do it.

Banty Rooster

Evidently, Bill has been hiding a secret musical alter ego from Mo' Complaints. As unearthed by Google Images, Bill released a record called Banty Rooster in 2007, which, according to his myspace page, is chalk full of "Roots Fingerstyle Guitar Music". Bill, what do you mean by "Fingerstyle" guitar music? This seems to imply that there are others means of guitar playing besides using one's fingers. Please explain at EMRB at Noon, today.

Monday Lunch

Hey everybody, sorry for the late post! I am here and interested in lunch at Noon at EMRB. Hope to see you there!

OMG Bill is here on a Friday!

That's really all I have to say about this. I'm shocked myself and I feel like I need to pay off some Karmic debt to the Gods of Friday, so I will be lunching with the highest amount of relaxation possible this Noon at EMRB.

Michael: Not a Boy, Not Yet a Man

When a guy unintentionally discloses his knowledge of a rather obscure Britney Spears single to his lunch mates, he can do one of two thing: (1) never speak of it again, hoping they forget; or (2) embed the song's video into their lunch blog, thus perpetuating his most deserved ridicule:



YouTube didn't allow me to embed the official video onto the blog, so we're stuck with this live video instead. I'm sorry to tarnish Mo' Complaints in this way. I hate myself. Lunch at Noon?

Booth, EMRB, Noon

Pictured is Carlos Booth of the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves. Last week, Mr Booth vacationed at the same hotel as a certain contributor to Mo' Complaints. One of them will be at lunch today at Noon.

Tuesday lunch

Let's do it!

Prepare for Michael's triumphant return on Monday

Thursday, February 12. President Barak Obama announces the new "Brumm Initiative" element to his economic stimulus package, stating: "The time is now, we have the technology, children are our future."** The main purpose of this new paragraph added to the stimulus bill is to get one Michael Brumm off his couch, stop him from watching the entire Monty Python 14 disc series on repeat, and get his ass back to Mars (a.k.a. lunch).

Digging up the dirt on Mr. Brumm, this reporter finds the first image result from typing in "Michael Brumm" into Google Image search:



Pictured here is Mr. Brumm, who has apparently been moonlighting as a writer for the Colbert Report, marching in the writer's strike of 2008. Mr. Colbert didn't get the opportunity to decline comment, as this reporter was too lazy to call his office.

Today the No Complaints lunch crew decides to convene at EMRB at the Noon hour in a vain and arrogant attempt to have an enjoyable lunch experience without Michael Brumm. Be there!

**Not an actual presidential quote. Quote based entirely on hear-say.

LETS EAT OUTSIDE TODAY

OH - Wait a minutes...we can't eat outside because it's RAINING today! Ah , shucks.
Too bad we didn't eat outside when we had the chance...

I just hate it when it rains and there are worms are all over sidewalks...:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvLwHrYDzJE

Tuesday, I'm still addicted to eating every day

I'm down for some lunch at EMRB, noon. Let's do it!

EEG is off, Lunch is on

I was scheduled to have an EEG subject this morning that threatened to spill into the lunch hour, but the subject backed out, and I am back in...for lunch. I will be at EMRB at about Noon. I will be eating pizza.

Thursday Lunch

Hey everybody, don't have a lot of time because I'm a dedicated worker and I have to get stuff done, but I wanted to declare EMRB Lunch at Noon.

Mo' Complaints Mach II: Get to Da EMRB!

To properly honor the Mo' Complaints' lunch blog renaissance, I've decided -- very much on a whim and against my better judgment -- to go with a Predator theme.

Pictured to the left is an offering from the Inertia Unlimited (i.e., Bill's web design company) "Tribute to Predator" line of apparel. Please consider (a) buying this shirt and (b) eating lunch today at EMRB at 12:00!

How could I not have known...

... until today that Prince has a song called "Jack U Off"?

Jack U Off - Prince

The 1st Annual Golden Bohle Awards

Kind Gents (aka Axe, Bill, Clake, Phil, and Paul):

As further proof of my pathological inability to "let go" of our beloved lunch blog, I've cooked up this here idea of the "Golden Bohles". Simply put, it's a competition to determine the best No/'Mo Complaints posts of all-time. Please feel free to add your own nominees via comment (or by editing the actual post). To get us started, though, I nominate:

• "No Title #1" (5.15.06): our first (and probably worst) post
• "Meal of Steel" (3.15.07): clake introduces pictures to the blog
  
• "Milestone" (4.20.07): our 200th post (& mission statement?)
• "Dose of Own Medicine..." (7.2.07): eating contest recap
• "Inspiration Strikes!" (8.2.07): expose on little person tossing
• "Make Your Own Danny DeVito Cake Topper" (12.17.07)
• "I Can't Quit You, Bohle" (1.22.08): going-away post to phil
  

It's back!

Remember that time I posted to this blog about dwarf tossing?! (I'm too lazy at this point in time to go back and reference it. I don't want to lose focus)

It turns out it could be useful after all. Bill Simmons, aka ESPN.com's Sports Guy, just mentioned this in his NFL week 14 picks:

Speaking of short yardage, you know Philly is struggling when reader Dan from Fairfax, Va., sends me a long e-mail explaining why Andy Reid should sign a "little person," then have McNabb line up in shotgun formation while holding the "little person," take a shotgun snap, hand the ball to the "little person," then fling him over the offensive and defensive lines into the end zone. And Dan was serious. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Philadelphia Eagles!

I felt bad about not finding the post in question. You may need to scroll down to August 2nd.

Saturday Special

Just when you think it's all over, it comes back with a vengeance. There will be a special No Complaints lunch this Saturday at the Midway Hotel in Dubuque, IA. Those who find themselves in Dubuque and looking for some peculiar lunchtime conversation, look no further. Technically, this is a family Christmas event, but Phil and I will certainly vouch for anyone from the old lunchtime crowd who wants to enjoy some fried chicken and a dinner roll. Bringing your own drinks is recommended.

A Bite of the Conchords

Happy belated birthday to, well, all of us

To all our readers (especially Phil), you need to check out this video. It's not long (67sec), and it's not what you're expecting:

Cleese on Palin (Sarah, not Michael)

Here are some thoughts from Monty Python member John Cleese regarding Sarah Palin:

Heart too hard to win

I stumbled upon this striking image whilst perusing the internet, and it reminded me of the bygone, carefree days of No Complaints: Turning lunchtimes into friendships, turning friendships into sandwiches, turning sandwiches into deuces.

Pure Genius!

Check this Bud Light ad that was banned from the Super Bowl!

http://docksquad.blogspot.com/2008/02/banned-commercial.html

Maxi Lunchin' & Maxi Postin'

Hey Michael,

I'm back! After a much spotty lunch attendance on my part I'm ready for Maxin' and Relaxin' at Mo' Complaints' Lunch. (Insert additional apostrophe here). Brummski, if you're down for gettin' some grub with a dirty old man like me today, I've got a few interesting questions to throw your way. You know, about life n' shit.

Double-U Tee Eff????

What the fuck? Women... and Mo Complaints? I don't understand... I hope that for Tradition's sake, Andrea is the name of a mysterious man, otherwise I'm not sure the world will ever right itself in my eyes!

Being in love and shit

Yo Mike, I'm in love with a cheese sandwich that I will purchase for lunch today at Noon at the Melrose Dining Room. I suggest that you and I leave a few minutes early (like 10 'till) so we can make it right at Noon. Andrea has only a half an hour, so let's make the most of it, eh?

This Week's Lunch Plans

Michael,

I'm planning on being at lunch at EMRB at Noon today and tomorrow. We talked about meeting up with Andrea at Melrose on Wednesday, but that got moved from Wednesday to Thursday. Does that fit into your schedule? Let me know what you think man, and I'll see you shortly!

- Bill

Rebirth of More Complaints

Yeah, you saw that right. Just like the rapper Fifty Cents, I white-ly call this blog "More Complaints." Too bad for everybody in the Happy Hour group, nay the entire Blogosphere, that they cannot (or choose not to) join Michael and me, Sir William of Adams, at EMRB for the second edition of the lunchening this week.

Stay humble stay low blow like Hootie

Mo' Complaints has many influences, but this has got to be top of the list:

Game, set, match. Point. Obama.

What'cha gonna do, Hillary?