Come to Lunch You Little Wankers!

[WARNING: includes "F" word, "P" word, and "W" word]

Monday Lunch

I will be at lunch today, EMRB at Noon!

Horse snuggie

Look Jessica! If you truly love your horse, you'd get him one.

Plus, it would get him/her some action, right?

I'll be late today

I'll be at lunch at about 12:15 or so today. Hope to see you there!

Feeling uninspired today

But hungry! Who's with me?!?

For those of you who missed my guest appearance on the Simpsons this weekend

We can talk all about it at lunch today! EMRB at Noon - you guys down?

Wednesday Contacts

I won't be at lunch today because I've got a contact lens appointment downtown. I'll be in tomorrow for sure, though!

There is nothing artistic about this post

Nor is there anything artistic about the way I stuff my face at lunch. EMRB, Noon.

My compliments to the artist

Screw that old hack Da Vinci, if you want to eat some lunch with a REAL artist, he who has created the "Sistine Chapel" of the Mo-Complaints lunch blog, I invite you to join us with Michael brumm today at EMRB, Noon.

Are We Lunching Today?

Phil will be at lunch today!

Nope sorry, that was a lie. I figured that if everybody thought that Phil was here today then more people would show up to lunch. We shall see how it works out, especially now that you all know I'm a huge lying bastard.

Posting from my iPhone

To let you guys know that I'll be at lunch today. Let's get this party started.

I'll be there

To commemorate my first post, I've added photos from Hawkeye Point, the previously mentioned highest point in IA.

Tuesday Lunch

Michael be back at EMRB today. Who is with me?

Monday Lunch

Let's do it!!! EMRB at Noon. It can keep our minds off the dreary day. Be there or be square!

Burgers and Birth Control

WOMEN'S LIB LUNCHEON!!!

EMRB - Noon

BE THERE [or else i'm throwing your clothes in the front yard and you're sleeping on the couch].

Princes & Paupers

Come to lunch today. While the rest of us drink tap water, William "Villa Billa" Adams will be drinking this:

Villa View

How about Noon lunch at EMRB? Afterwards we can come back to my place for drinks & party.

Bill'll Be Back!

Though unconfirmed at this point, rumor has it that Bill will be back at lunch today. Location: EMRB; Time: Noon.

Oh, and we might want to get there early if we want to get a table, cos the return of The Bill tends to bring the ladies out in mass.

PB&T

Peanut butter & tears. That's what I ate yesterday when -- just like the boy in this picture -- I sat by myself while all of the cool EMRB kids had fun around me. Will today be more of the same shame, or will my friends come back to me?

Hans and I are no better than Brett

I will not be at lunch today...:(

Goat Week Continues

[Insert goat video/picture here]

Lunch at Noonish, EMRB

FAINTING GOATS

Cold Brew Cupcake Friday

Pictured to the left is a container not of motor oil, but of "cold brewed" coffee, which I referenced at yesterday's lunch. According to howtobrewcoffee.com:

“They” say that cold brewed coffee is lower in acid and lower in caffeine, thus good for those with sensitive stomachs

Perhaps by "senstitive stomachs" they mean "insensitive palates"? At any rate, I want to try making this. Would anyone try it if I brought some to lunch?

Also, today's lunch plans are as follows:

1. 11:58 meet at the water fountain in the hallway outside of Bill’s office
2. 12:00 lunch* in Brett’s office

*Jessica brought cupcakes!

Spring break is over

It's time we all did our duty and attended lunch. 12:00pm in the EMRB, be there.

Mulletproof...I Wish I Was

Above, as promised, are three pictures of brumpelstiltskin with a mullet. Having won the bet, the rest of Mo' Complaints now owes me 1 overpriced pastry from the EMRB/Starbuck cafe. I think I'll go with the pain au chocolat. I will collect my money at Noon!

Today’s EMRB Special: Beefcake

It’s “Obscure 80s WWF Superstar Tuesday” here at Mo’ Complaints and, as you can see, today’s honoree is Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. Mr Beefcake is a former WWF tag team champion (along with then-partner, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine) and is perhaps best known for adding insult to the injury of defeated opponents by snipping their hair off (using his trademark barber shears) after he’d pinned them for a 3-count. Mr Beefcake’s presence on the blog today is especially fitting since Michael will be getting a (long overdue) haircut later this afternoon.

Monday Lunch

Hope to see you at EMRB at High Noon!

tickle me jesus

I wanted to see what all the buzz was about posting. I thinks' I've done it. Hey bill, thanks for not ruffie-ing me at Joe's last night. Much appreciated.

Eat lunch with us today!

Otherwise you're out of our secret club of awesomeness!

The Men of Mo-Complaints

There were so many great reviews of the Phil, Michael and Hans photos that I thought I should post the link to the rest of the pics. Just click the title of this post to see the sexiest men in the Greater Iowa City / Coralville area.

Mo' Complaints: the 'David Bowie' of Blogs?

The more I reflect on it, the more I'm wowed by the recent renaissance of Mo' Complaints. Many people -- err, well the 2 non-contributors who sometimes read it -- thought we were dead (and not without good reason), but now, out of nowhere, we're back with new contributors, professional photography, female members (yeah, J & HK!) , male models, martini expertise, and an ongoing blogosphere-buzzing discussion regarding the proper title for what's currently being referred to as the 'brush-off'.

Our reinvention reminds me of one David Bowie (pictured), a so-called 'musical chameleon" who frequently reinvented his music and image during the 1970s and beyond. In honor of him, I hereby declare today 'Eye Patch and Green Lipstick Tuesday' at EMRB. While do don't have to wear an eye patch or green lipstick in order to attend lunch today, if you do, I will personally buy you an $8 PB&J sandwich from the EMRB cafe.

MEBRAS: the fashion models of Psychiatry

If you want to see gentlemen like these during your lunch hour, I recommend you be at MERB today at Noon for lunch.

Number 400!

Wow, what a great day to be alive! I wanted to take time to thank all of you, and then I noticed that No/Mo Complaints has had 399 posts. I wanted to pick out a Google image of "400" and this came up on the first page of results. All I can say is: Koooo-be! The condom can be found in the corner in the morning...

I just wanted to say thank you for the fantastic lunch on Friday. Not only did the expensive tuna sandwich help cure a hangover, but the crowd at EMRB helped cap off one helluva birthday celebration.

If someone could please keep me posted on what we're calling "The Brush-off," that would be great!

It was good to be "home."

The Return of the Phil

Hey all, today's lunch will have a special guest star. You should make it if you can, Phil will be signing autographs (anywhere you like).

Alkohol...

SEE YOU ALL AT LUNCH @ 12:00 in the EMRB

I thought that today's (and my first) blog post should be about making the perfect martini, the ultimate, classy alcoholic beverage. Personally, I believe that the only true martini is a gin martini, and I like the dry vermouth (the light color vermouth).

This article (http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Martinis) suggests adding the vermouth to the glass and swirling to coat the glass, then pouring off the excess (or not if you like a little more vermouth flavor). I recommend you taste a little vermouth by itself, it's not bad as it is made in similar fashion to wine, and this little experiment can inform your decision to go more or less on the vermouth. The way I approach the vermouth is to add the ice to the shaker and pour in about a 1oz shot of vermouth and shake that around to coat the ice, then pour off the excess. This is probably a little more wasteful, and I think would result in less vermouth in you martini. Then add 3-4oz of Gin (some recommendations are made in the article, but Beefeater gin is what I like [ http://www.beefeatergin.com/index.php ]), shake and pour. I don't buy any of the snobbish business about stirring versus shaking. Shaking makes a delightful beverage.

Vodka or Gin? Bill believes that Gin tastes like gasoline, but this is erroneous. Gin actually tastes like turpentine (I used to paint houses and siphon gas [separate incidents]), as both are made from conifers. That being said, a good gin martini needs a little vermouth and an olive to be complete. On the other hand, a Vodka Martini needs a little something extra as it is a blank canvas. I prefer these to be served dirty (add a splash of olive juice from the jar). However, you can also add citrus, onions, extra vermouth, or whatever strikes your fancy (see the article for a description of a smokey martini). All these options provide endless potential for getting stupid.

On a final note, according to the article a vodka martini is "properly called a Kangaroo." Personally, I love that, and I would derive some pleasure from ordering a "Kangaroo" just to see if the bartender immediately grabs the Vodka and Vermouth. I would, in that moment, finally be cool ;-)

Wednesday Lunch

Looks like Hans is now officially a contributor! To celebrate I suggest lunch at Noon at EMRB. Yes, I do have a hidden flask of whiskey.

First pic in a Google Image search for Hans Packer

I call shenanigans because it's Boersma, not Packer. Stupid Google! Oh yeah, lunch. Let's do it.

Banty Rooster

Evidently, Bill has been hiding a secret musical alter ego from Mo' Complaints. As unearthed by Google Images, Bill released a record called Banty Rooster in 2007, which, according to his myspace page, is chalk full of "Roots Fingerstyle Guitar Music". Bill, what do you mean by "Fingerstyle" guitar music? This seems to imply that there are others means of guitar playing besides using one's fingers. Please explain at EMRB at Noon, today.

Monday Lunch

Hey everybody, sorry for the late post! I am here and interested in lunch at Noon at EMRB. Hope to see you there!

OMG Bill is here on a Friday!

That's really all I have to say about this. I'm shocked myself and I feel like I need to pay off some Karmic debt to the Gods of Friday, so I will be lunching with the highest amount of relaxation possible this Noon at EMRB.

Michael: Not a Boy, Not Yet a Man

When a guy unintentionally discloses his knowledge of a rather obscure Britney Spears single to his lunch mates, he can do one of two thing: (1) never speak of it again, hoping they forget; or (2) embed the song's video into their lunch blog, thus perpetuating his most deserved ridicule:



YouTube didn't allow me to embed the official video onto the blog, so we're stuck with this live video instead. I'm sorry to tarnish Mo' Complaints in this way. I hate myself. Lunch at Noon?

Booth, EMRB, Noon

Pictured is Carlos Booth of the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves. Last week, Mr Booth vacationed at the same hotel as a certain contributor to Mo' Complaints. One of them will be at lunch today at Noon.

Tuesday lunch

Let's do it!

Prepare for Michael's triumphant return on Monday

Thursday, February 12. President Barak Obama announces the new "Brumm Initiative" element to his economic stimulus package, stating: "The time is now, we have the technology, children are our future."** The main purpose of this new paragraph added to the stimulus bill is to get one Michael Brumm off his couch, stop him from watching the entire Monty Python 14 disc series on repeat, and get his ass back to Mars (a.k.a. lunch).

Digging up the dirt on Mr. Brumm, this reporter finds the first image result from typing in "Michael Brumm" into Google Image search:



Pictured here is Mr. Brumm, who has apparently been moonlighting as a writer for the Colbert Report, marching in the writer's strike of 2008. Mr. Colbert didn't get the opportunity to decline comment, as this reporter was too lazy to call his office.

Today the No Complaints lunch crew decides to convene at EMRB at the Noon hour in a vain and arrogant attempt to have an enjoyable lunch experience without Michael Brumm. Be there!

**Not an actual presidential quote. Quote based entirely on hear-say.

LETS EAT OUTSIDE TODAY

OH - Wait a minutes...we can't eat outside because it's RAINING today! Ah , shucks.
Too bad we didn't eat outside when we had the chance...

I just hate it when it rains and there are worms are all over sidewalks...:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvLwHrYDzJE

Tuesday, I'm still addicted to eating every day

I'm down for some lunch at EMRB, noon. Let's do it!

EEG is off, Lunch is on

I was scheduled to have an EEG subject this morning that threatened to spill into the lunch hour, but the subject backed out, and I am back in...for lunch. I will be at EMRB at about Noon. I will be eating pizza.

Thursday Lunch

Hey everybody, don't have a lot of time because I'm a dedicated worker and I have to get stuff done, but I wanted to declare EMRB Lunch at Noon.

Mo' Complaints Mach II: Get to Da EMRB!

To properly honor the Mo' Complaints' lunch blog renaissance, I've decided -- very much on a whim and against my better judgment -- to go with a Predator theme.

Pictured to the left is an offering from the Inertia Unlimited (i.e., Bill's web design company) "Tribute to Predator" line of apparel. Please consider (a) buying this shirt and (b) eating lunch today at EMRB at 12:00!

How could I not have known...

... until today that Prince has a song called "Jack U Off"?

Jack U Off - Prince

The 1st Annual Golden Bohle Awards

Kind Gents (aka Axe, Bill, Clake, Phil, and Paul):

As further proof of my pathological inability to "let go" of our beloved lunch blog, I've cooked up this here idea of the "Golden Bohles". Simply put, it's a competition to determine the best No/'Mo Complaints posts of all-time. Please feel free to add your own nominees via comment (or by editing the actual post). To get us started, though, I nominate:

• "No Title #1" (5.15.06): our first (and probably worst) post
• "Meal of Steel" (3.15.07): clake introduces pictures to the blog
  
• "Milestone" (4.20.07): our 200th post (& mission statement?)
• "Dose of Own Medicine..." (7.2.07): eating contest recap
• "Inspiration Strikes!" (8.2.07): expose on little person tossing
• "Make Your Own Danny DeVito Cake Topper" (12.17.07)
• "I Can't Quit You, Bohle" (1.22.08): going-away post to phil
  

It's back!

Remember that time I posted to this blog about dwarf tossing?! (I'm too lazy at this point in time to go back and reference it. I don't want to lose focus)

It turns out it could be useful after all. Bill Simmons, aka ESPN.com's Sports Guy, just mentioned this in his NFL week 14 picks:

Speaking of short yardage, you know Philly is struggling when reader Dan from Fairfax, Va., sends me a long e-mail explaining why Andy Reid should sign a "little person," then have McNabb line up in shotgun formation while holding the "little person," take a shotgun snap, hand the ball to the "little person," then fling him over the offensive and defensive lines into the end zone. And Dan was serious. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Philadelphia Eagles!

I felt bad about not finding the post in question. You may need to scroll down to August 2nd.

Saturday Special

Just when you think it's all over, it comes back with a vengeance. There will be a special No Complaints lunch this Saturday at the Midway Hotel in Dubuque, IA. Those who find themselves in Dubuque and looking for some peculiar lunchtime conversation, look no further. Technically, this is a family Christmas event, but Phil and I will certainly vouch for anyone from the old lunchtime crowd who wants to enjoy some fried chicken and a dinner roll. Bringing your own drinks is recommended.

A Bite of the Conchords

Happy belated birthday to, well, all of us

To all our readers (especially Phil), you need to check out this video. It's not long (67sec), and it's not what you're expecting:

Cleese on Palin (Sarah, not Michael)

Here are some thoughts from Monty Python member John Cleese regarding Sarah Palin:

Heart too hard to win

I stumbled upon this striking image whilst perusing the internet, and it reminded me of the bygone, carefree days of No Complaints: Turning lunchtimes into friendships, turning friendships into sandwiches, turning sandwiches into deuces.

Pure Genius!

Check this Bud Light ad that was banned from the Super Bowl!

http://docksquad.blogspot.com/2008/02/banned-commercial.html

Maxi Lunchin' & Maxi Postin'

Hey Michael,

I'm back! After a much spotty lunch attendance on my part I'm ready for Maxin' and Relaxin' at Mo' Complaints' Lunch. (Insert additional apostrophe here). Brummski, if you're down for gettin' some grub with a dirty old man like me today, I've got a few interesting questions to throw your way. You know, about life n' shit.

Double-U Tee Eff????

What the fuck? Women... and Mo Complaints? I don't understand... I hope that for Tradition's sake, Andrea is the name of a mysterious man, otherwise I'm not sure the world will ever right itself in my eyes!

Being in love and shit

Yo Mike, I'm in love with a cheese sandwich that I will purchase for lunch today at Noon at the Melrose Dining Room. I suggest that you and I leave a few minutes early (like 10 'till) so we can make it right at Noon. Andrea has only a half an hour, so let's make the most of it, eh?

This Week's Lunch Plans

Michael,

I'm planning on being at lunch at EMRB at Noon today and tomorrow. We talked about meeting up with Andrea at Melrose on Wednesday, but that got moved from Wednesday to Thursday. Does that fit into your schedule? Let me know what you think man, and I'll see you shortly!

- Bill

Rebirth of More Complaints

Yeah, you saw that right. Just like the rapper Fifty Cents, I white-ly call this blog "More Complaints." Too bad for everybody in the Happy Hour group, nay the entire Blogosphere, that they cannot (or choose not to) join Michael and me, Sir William of Adams, at EMRB for the second edition of the lunchening this week.

Stay humble stay low blow like Hootie

Mo' Complaints has many influences, but this has got to be top of the list:

Game, set, match. Point. Obama.

What'cha gonna do, Hillary?

The Blogosphere cries

See, the thing about Mo' Complaints lunch is that everybody all throughout the Blogosphere wants in on it. Bohle only moved to greener pastures because he recognized that the longer he stayed with Mo' Complaints, the harder it would be to tear himself from the wonder, the glory, the sheer orgazmiration. So I extend my daily members only invitation to Brummski for a Noon meeting of the lunch at the exclusive EMRB Club. You down for that Michael?

That sweet sound...

I can type sort of like this... but only the spacebar.

By the way, I wasn't feeling well... but then I found the cure to the fever: An LL Cool J video that I hadn't seen yet.

But this is what that dude sounded like when he walked!

I can't quit you, Bohle

Not since Nov 2004 have I entered such a stupor. Then, faced with 4 more years with Mr Bush, I coped by not eating, drinking, or engaging in any semblance of political discussion or thought for a good 6 months. Now, faced with ?(!) years without Mr Bohle, I have once again struck the (emotional) fetal pose, only this time I’ve responded not with lack of appetite, nay, but by eating (bon bons) and drinking (gorilla farts) more than ever before in my life. Moreover, this time around, it is watching Twins, listening to my Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. (i.e., Lil Wayne) records and, yes, blogging, that I’ve gone without, for I simply haven’t been able to confront the emotional luggage said activities pack into this already overstuffed suitcase I call my brain.

(Speaking of which, if Dr Andreasen is willing to shell out $200 to see the inside of Bohle’s head, what I wouldn’t pay for a mere glimpse of its outside: a.k.a. that lovable philthy phace.)

Now that I've finally begun to pick up the emotional pieces, and ponder recent events, I just can't get over how closely they parallel the 1980 death of Led Zeppelin drummer John "Bonzo" Bonham, which led soon after to the surviving members' decision to disband. Sure, our "Bohlzo" is alive and well (thank God) and, yes, he's more of a skin flautist than a drummer, but otherwise the analogy is quite seamless, and his departure's effect on our band is no less glaring.

The blogosphere has been abuzz, as of late, as to whether No Complaints (sans Bohlzo) should, like Led Zeppelin (sans Bonzo), call it quits. After much contemplation, the answer is a resounding no.

No, we shall press forward, but with one caveat. Following the precedent set by A Daily Show, we cannot in good conscience advertise what shall come under the banner of past greatness. As a lasting tribute to our own head writer, whose cohesive talent made us what we are, we shall henceforth adopt a new moniker: Mo' Complaints

For, until the day he returns, there will always be at least one thing to complain about.

Wow

I can't believe how long you guys have gone without eating food! Are you on diets? I get the ultimate lunch hour here in Des Moines. Myself and a coworker come to my place and watch tv! It's the shiznit. If you make a new dirty phrase sometime, such as the "Pool Cue," please keep me updated!

How To: Make Your Own Danny DeVito Cake Topper/Fun Thing

This is a fun and easy craft for any occasion, and all you need is a color printer, a couple of toothpicks, and some clear tape. First, print out this image in color (click to enlarge):

Next, cut out and fold the picture. I recommend cutting a rough rectangle around both DeVito heads at first, folding carefully along the line between them, and then cutting both sides back to back. Then tape a couple of toothpicks to the back side of one DeVito head. Finally, attach both heads together at around the chin area - but don't use too much tape/glue/what-have-you for that because you don't want to mar the pristine image of DeVito.

Now you can take your creation and use it to decorate a cake - or a stack of brownies, as we did to celebrate Philthy's last No Complaints lunch.

You can also omit the toothpicks and instead put this on a pen or pencil. You can even print a bajillion of these things, tape them onto the wrappers of cheap suckers and give them out on Halloween for that "the people who live in this house are frickin' bonkers" effect.

Gettin' the word on for Monday

I've been hearing that Monday is slated to be young master Phillip's last day of No Complaints lunch. I thought I should get the word out ahead of time that a celebration is in order. I'm planning on attending, there will probably be cake, Kim could be convinced to take the trek up the hill to wish Phil good lunch in his future endeavors, AND we're holding out hope for another special guest. I can't reveal too much. It's all still in negotiation, but we are hoping for a certain short, bald, chubby actor/director to make an appearance.

(The above is an actual panel from an Archie comic strip. To the best of my knowledge, it has not been doctored in any way.)

Blow it up!

What's up, bros? Lunch?!

Melrose Place

Bill: just a head's up that Axe and I (and hopefully a few others) will be chowing down at the Melrose Dining hall today. If you make it in, please join us. PS Boo yeah.

Post 357!

Yeah! Celebrate post number 357 at lunch with me at EMRB!

Go ahead, touch my sandwich

Time: High noon

Place: EMRB

Occassion: Lunch

Reason for Dirty Harry picture: He's a badass motherfucker.

Wednesday with the eating and the kicking and the biting

I'll be at EMRB at Noon if anybody is interested in bro- and/or chow-ing down with me

Doin it and doin it and doin it well

She's represent'n Queens I was raised out in Brooklyn.

Come to lunch today and learn about:

The guy who was picking his nose on the bus... just where did that booger end up?

The haircutter asking me for financial advice... and yeah, I "gave it" to her.

The bite to my upper arm suffered in Real Estate Process... it feels bruised.

Yup, you are my readers.

Monday, the Frozen Tundra Wasteland

Morning gents, I am planning on being at EMRB for lunch today. No exciting strap-ons, or big boys or nothing like that. Just little 'ol me with my razor sharp whit and dirty sense of humor.

P.S. Poop and pee.

Friday

I'll be at lunch today, and I'll be wearing one of these bad boys:


Anyone care to lunch with me and my "strap-on"?

Movies

While not working today, I tried coming up with some names of Vagina movies. I tried to limit it to sports movies.












All The Right Vaginas
Friday Night Vaginas
Any Vagina Sunday
Caddyvagina
White Vagina Can't Jump
Vagina Nights; The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tin Vagina
Varsity Vaginas
Above the Vagina
North Dallas Vagina
Vaginas in the Outfield
Mighty Vaginas
The Greatest Vagina Ever Played
Debby Does Vagina (sort of a sports movie)
Gridiron Vagina
Forget Vagina (a stretch, "Forget Paris.")
Glory Vagina
Play it to the Vagina
Wildcats

[PICTURE OF A DOG LICKING A BISON'S TESTICLES]

I'm planning on eating at the EMRB today at 12:15 if there's going to be anyone else there. Are you in?

Hey Michael

I'm in for lunch at EMRB at Noon if you are. Let me know the scoop, hombre.

Hot Cook'n at EMRB

Tailgating season may be over, but how can I help looking for ideas for next year? Come to EMRB at noon and maybe you'll meet these two fellas, and you can see for yourself just how hung they are despite their wirey physique.

Bohle?

Lunch?

Superman dat OH!

Hey Brummski! On your way to EMRB today, watch out for that sheet following close behind you. I don't want anyone else tripping over it.

Shitty Pat Monday at EMRB

Just keeping the dream alive. Brummblepie? You in?

Fuck You Friday at EMRB

(click to enlargen)

I'll be there at about 12:15... will you?

Thursday, my last day for a while (again)

So I was gone for a majority of last week, and because of the Thanksgiving holiday I will be gone all of next week. That's just general info for everybody on the blog to know. So Michael, no pressure but if you're down for lunch today I'll be at EMRB at Noon.

A Big Day for Your PB&J

This little guys is six months old today!

Also, I'll be having lunch in EMRB at noon. You're welcome to join me... unless I'm too REAL for you.

Tuesday

Hey Michael, I'm planning on being at lunch today. Any thoughts on a venue?

In the words of Soul Asylum:

As far as I can tell, I'm going to have some crappy chores to do at work this morning. In that spirit, around noon I'll be ready to

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track (to EMRB)
Seems like I should be getting somewhere (like lunch)
Somehow I'm neither here (EMRB) nor there (work)

I hope someone can stop my downward spiral at nooner.

HEY GUYS!!!

What's up???! Mind if I join you for lunch at EMRB today? They're renovating The Max and the jocks in Atrium Dining are always giving me atomic wedgies.

Winded

I'm a little worn out from the Malt Madness post this morning. I'll simply ask if anyone is attending No Complaints in EMRB at noon today. I look forward to your response.

Axelmania XXVII: Alien vs. Fabulous Moolah!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please. In this corner, at a combined weight of 14 metric tons, from Iowa City, IA: the unsuspecting denizens of EMRB Cafe. And now, approaching the ring area, weighing in at 27 stone, accompanied by his manager, Paul Bearer, and his Executive Consultant Mr. Fuji (with salt, or is it protein powder, in hand), from Eden Prairie, MN, making his long-awaited in-ring return: King Kong Axelbundy! Let's get ready to Brumble!!!

Complaints, indeed

My fellow No Complaintians, I feel that today, for no reason whatsoever, the people of Lunch Blogdium deserve to know the state of Lunch.
People; we have an enemy in our mist (and no, I don't mean "midst!"). The rest of the world knows these teammates as Taste and Class, but we know them as the two-headed monster that is out to destroy the world we know. They are willing to sacrifice nothing in an effort to kill our spirits and sense of humor. They have fired direct attacks on Bawdiness and have Grotesque completely embargoed. The rest of EMRB Cafe is willing to stand by idly and allow these travesties to occur. It's obviously up to us, the Democracy of No Complaints, to up the ante and fire back into the heart of their capitals, Sophistication and Refinement. Our citizens will have to sacrifice, but that's the price of freedom. We're going to have to produce twice as many poop jokes and up to three times as many chode references. Bill and Brumplestiltzkin will have to double team Taste on the Sheets'de-soiled while I quietly take out Class behind d'Knight'stand. We must nuge and scrooge without mercy! This is a war that we must win at all costs.
The consequences of a loss? Citizens, I shudder to think of what that world would bring.
Remember, you're either with us, or you're against us, harboring WMDs (Weapons of Mass Discernment)!
God Bless Our Lunch!
Are you with me?!

Input needed! ASAP

Clake and Bill, this is specifically for you, but the rest of our readers can weigh in as well.

We definitely have the Wonk and Nuge clearly defined.
Last week we came up with further clarity for real life situations.
When someone is coming at you backhanded, but at the last minute turns their palm towards you, in effect, faking the Nuge and going for the Wonk, that is called the Splooge, for obvious reasons (if you can control yourself after experiencing those wide range of emotions, you're a better man than I).

Now, the question is, what if someone comes at you palm first, but then performs a slight of hand and backhands you? Brummbiliyah and I decided that this maneuver, where the Wonk is faked for a Nuge, should be called the Scrooge. Is everyone down with that??

I think I cut my penis on the lid....

That was probably one of the best lines I've ever heard on television.

Shall we toss out more Schrutisms at lunch today?

Nary a registered complaint on the Merlin's Madness

If anybody was able to recover from Merlin's Madness in enough time to make it to lunch at EMRB at Noon, I'll be seeing you there!